Random and paranoid

It is that time again. Principal made a comment today in staff meeting, where we were discussing (or being told about) the school developing an optional program, and becoming part of the International Bacchelaureate (yeah, I can't spell that) program. Comment was basically - teachers will have to step things up to get the students interested. No more just teaching, we have to entertain and engage them. There are some honor classes that have behavior problems because there isn't enough being done to engage them.

This struck home, as I have been having trouble with the honors class, as has the whole team. I think there is a kernel of truth to the statement, but at the same time we have a load of "spoiled" children whose parents do not encourage behavior, and actively support rebelious students. Many of my honors students actively resist becoming engaged, and would rather feign ignorance to have something repeated 3-4 times to eat up the class time. I could be Bill F-ing Cosby and I couldn't get them involved. But there is no consequence for this behavior, and there is nothing in place to prevent it from continuing.

Then I stumbled over to the 2nd enrollment period, where the district posts jobs that are vacant for the fall. Surprise - only 21 are posted, and the majority are at what we used to call "reform schools." In other words, the places where they send the kids that can't behave in an expected manner, or who were expelled (usually violence, weapons or drugs) and are now re-entering the system. I know a few teachers got letters informing them where they would be placed next year, and now my little paranoid organ is sending me signals that maybe I would rather have had a letter like that.

Yes, I know I am a good teacher. Yes, I know I am creative, and entertaining, and I teach a subject that is sometimes hard to make entertaining. Plus my Australia experience will make me a more valuable commodity in the fall, as well as my 5 years of teaching experience. On the other hand, I am still being worn down by unsupportive parents and administrators, and am hamstrung as to what I can do or say, being white in a 95% black school. The attitude is, don't listen to him, he is white. I usually have to call over another teacher, and they will make the same request, or phrase it more harshly and the kid will do it with no backtalk. I don't see it getting a whole lot better, but at least I am dealing with it better than ever before. I saddens me, but it is on my radar of expectation now, so it doesn't shock or surprise me. But often I find myself questioning whether I am too sensitive, or too harsh, or have too high expectations (which is supposed to be impossible - it is wrong and even politically incorrect to lower my expectations because of the social or racial makeup of my students. Yet my administration and colleagues do it, and recommend that I do it.

Life has its strangeness and changes. By the fall so many things could happen that I might not be teaching. Which brings me to an odd coincidence. There was another teacher at the school who applied for the Australia gig. Since I got it I haven't really talked with her a whole lot, not being close to her and not knowing if I might make things awkward. In passing, though, I noticed she wasn't in terribly good shape. Today at the faculty meeting, I overheard her discussing morning sickness with a few teacher/mothers. Yes, she is at least 5 months along. Which means if she had been accepted over me, I would probably have been tapped anyhow, just a few months further into the process.

So, who knows. Maybe I will be offered a teacher/researcher position to write lesson plans and travel the country teaching teachers how to teach the material we develop. That would be a dream job, dealing with adults and professionals, and inspiring them to inspire their students.