Tragic

I came home to find a very brief email from a very close friend. Her son was killed yesterday in Iraq. I am still coping with this, as is my family - we all knew him and really liked him. He was a student at my friend's high school, and she helped him get a job as a counselor at the summer camp where we all worked. Back then he was fun loving, but very responsible. A great guy to be around.

His home life was a little bit on the depressing side. His mother was not around for him, and therefore he had little stability, and wound up dropping out of school and living in my friend's house. She and her husband helped him get into some programs to help him develop skills and pass the GED, and to enlist and get a decent assignment. My friends became his new family and he was a son to them. On leave he went to stay with them, most recently only about 2 months ago. Now, like so many serving, he is gone.

On a slightly less depressing note, the meeting with my student's parents went 90 minutes with little or no resolution. Mother refused to acknowledge any point of view but her son's, wants us to praise the positive, but neglected to inform her son that reminding him not to be talking at certain times is not a negative, and he doesn't have to become surly because of it. I see more meetings in the future, as this boy won't rein himself in.

Dinner for the anniversary (shifting to the positive) was nice. We went to a place called Beauty Shop - which used to BE a beauty shop. Some of the seats are those dryers with the hoods. Good food, too. She had steak frites (steak was bacon wrapped filet with peppercorn and mustard crust) and I had a really nice cioppino. mmmm

Another day down

Sad that I feel that way. Some classes easier than others. Some students still struggling with their need to disrupt my teaching to get a sense of accomplishment - one who had a tantrum last week and spent the period drawing got himself an overnight suspension (basically an urgent request for a parent to visit the school to talk about their child) for a "cute" stick figure drawing of him shooting me. The administration talked with the dad last week, but today the mom spoke with another one of our teachers (all of us have problems with this honor student) and wanted to come in to talk about why I am picking on her son, a view that was not taken kindly by the administrator. Should be a fun day - I have a decent size file amassed.

Youngest plays volleyball on the fifth grade team. Some of the girls are pretty athletic, others less so, mine being one. This being said, I still get to chauffeur to and from games, and attend the home games. They have yet to win. To add insult to injury, most of the other schools charge admission - $4 for adults and $1 for children. A little pricey, so I usually watch from the halls. Season is almost over, so I have that going for me.

Tomorrow is 19th wedding anniversary. They are all big these days, but next year is one of those 'round' dates.

Motivation

I know things go easier when I plan out a week in advance, as we are supposed/required to do. The tough part is - there is one lesson to go in the chapter, which means some review. And Wednesday is a field trip for 50 of the students, leaving 60 at school (if none ditch). Friday during the last period we have students we will have an incentive - Ice cream social...and that class is the one farthest behind. Funny how there is always once class that struggles with discipline and falls behind on learning. That leaves me with two "toss-up" days this week, with a test in there.

Just hard to get things done on the weekends. Weather has been REALLY nice. Dark during my morning commute, so I picked up a front light, not for me to see, but for cars to see me. And since Monday mornings are especially troublesome, I do all my packing up the night before. Breakfast and lunch, clothes, lesson book, etc. in the messenger bag.

My poor breathing machine. One of these days I need to go back and hand them back the replacement part that didn't work. Both of the usual technicians weren't there and the lady helping me gave me something she thought would work, but advised me to just find the part that broke off and super-glue it. Which worked for about a week. At which point I noticed the replacement part doesn't really match the other parts I have. So I have a cobbled together solution. I wish they could just make the mask so it won't break (as this one has, twice, in the exact same spot).

Crazy Times Coming

Slept weird last night. Dreamt of being choked by a strange man. Literally could not breathe. Didn't seem like apnea, just a powerful dream.

Today we had a mini-team meeting, started as just a chat session with all the four teachers. Then it turned to two of our "new" students, both of whom were suspended last year for 180 days (that is a full year) but went to an alternative school (I guess you could think of it as reform school) for a few months and are now kicked back to us. They promise to be a handful, and one I had last year and was more than a handful. He got caught dealing pot in the final month of school, after showing some significant sociopathic tendencies.

On a good note, though, all the classes went well, kids were "getting it" as we worked in our new workbooks and played with equations on the board. Good questions from my kids, and a couple of hard to reach kids were attentive and I got to compliment them after class.

Still, now that report card grades are finalized, now we have start intervening with kids who score D or F. And I got my "improvement" scores from last year and my students were down more than the state average on their test scores. But it couldn't really dampen my good day.

Approaching normalcy

Computer is back, on time and working fine. Having more power doesn't affect anything...yet. Soon I hope to have a new(er) video card and that will hopefully show some differences. Maybe down the road a stick or two of RAM.

Friday (tomorrow) will be an interesting test. Our school has been fight-free since Day 1 this year, which most places wouldn't be an accomplishment, but the longest record had been 29 days. And that was during an incentive period where 40 days got you a visit from a pro basketball player. So, Friday is a no-uniform day, or as the administration calls it "dress down". Mostly it will be OK, but the kids tend to forget that wearing what they want doesn't include acting the way they might when wearing it out of school.

Changing Habits, and not

Let's start with the habits that are slowly changing.  At school I am much more organized.  There is actual filing going on, and I have discipline files sorted by homeroom.  Still not keeping up the way I should with parent phone calls...Also, trying and succeeding in keeping things from feeling personal.  The kids just don't have awareness of how their actions are interpreted, and unwilling to admit any wrongdoing.  Student by student, though, I am working on the honors class, which I think of as the horrors class.  Had a parent meeting today where the girl is slowly adjusting her attitude (but not totally).  Mom was very supportive.

On the physical front - those who know me may remember my affinity for Diet Coke and Diet Dr. Pepper.  A 12 pack or two a week.  Now maybe a can a night.  I have a much stronger hankering for water.  I recall reading somewhere that one reason Americans are more weighty is because they interpret thirst as hunger.  So they eat instead of drink.  I think I am drinking a gallon a day, or thereabouts.  Which also means less hunger.  And my body is conditioned to expect food at regular times.  A piece of fruit before school starts.  A protein bar 4 hours later.  A snack when I get home.  Dinner, which I don't usually want much of.  Lots of water, maybe a small sweet snack after 7, but before 8.  I have found that eating too close to bedtime causes some nasty reflux...bile in the throat making you cough soon after falling asleep is not so good.

With the computer out for the past several days, too, I am reading more (finishing Eclipse, as my oldest calls it "the girly vampire book - why are you reading it, dad?"), watching more TV (Heroes last night, caught up on Sarah Conner today online, Fringe tonight, plus Supernatural courtesy of NetFlix) and spending more time just hanging with the family.  Now if I can balance that with a night or two away from my games once the computer is back and running, things might smooth out.

The exercise is keeping me warm all the time, plus the sense of satisfaction of having done something worthwhile.  The endorphins are not too shabby, either.  I sleep well, but with very vivid dreams.  Got to watch out for those, since they can keep me on edge for a day or so as scenes drift to the surface, triggered by who knows what.

The Lost Weekend

Alas, the saga of the computer.  With advice on ways to upgrade from people even more computer literate than I am, I removed a bunch of stuff I never use.  Including the devil - AOL.  Upon restarting the computer, I got the blue screen of death.  Do not proceed - we didn't start Windows because your computer will explode.  If this is the first time you are seeing this blue screen, try again.

Well, after the sixth time I realized it wasn't going to spontaneously heal itself.  So I ran a diagnostic.  Which took 4 hours.  And told me that one message block out of over several million was unreadable.

Good news is that there are at least 2 other computers here that can access the internet.  A friend from my game (world of warcraft, if I haven't mentioned it) told me the steps.  Except my Windows XP disc wouldn't boot up the repair utility.  Finally it did.  And the repair utility (after two more hours) fixed the fubarred block.

With a mind towards my graphics card update, I took the computer today to the local tech guys.  This is where I would have taken it if it was REALLY messed up, for them to retrieve whatever they could get off the hard drive.  Having them put in a new power supply unit (PSU for those of you into three letter acronyms, or TLAs).  Talking with the guy, at first he couldn't understand why I wanted it.  I explained about my graphics card, and then he mentioned his 1G card ran fine with his 420W.  Then I told him my PSU was 305W.  At that he filled out the paperwork and said "I think we can get a 450W in there."

So the computer is in the shop until tomorrow or Wednesday, depending on how busy they are.  By then a different in-game friend should have shipped me a shiny new graphics card that he has never used.

Oh, and at school it was picture day.  You can imagine how that was.

For the record, I hate how Memphis does traffic lights.  Unless you are heavy enough to trigger the sensor, your light will never turn green.  Treating it like a 4-way stop means that sometimes, like today, I am in the middle of an intersection when the main street goes green.  Lots of honking.  Selfish bastards.

Accomplished

Got through all the composition books today - every student has a little note in their book to show I looked at it. Starting next grading period I will check them weekly and take a weekly grade. Also got all the tests graded today, so all that is left is to input things into Teacherease and let it calculate grades.

This just means more paperwork, as I have to create a STAR (Student Teacher Achievement Report, I think) folder for each student who has a D or F. Thank you NCLB. Which really means less competent teachers will inflate grades so they don't have to fill out any paperwork, but kids won't be learning any better.

School has seen a slight rash of gang graffiti - probably one student, but it was up in two different boy's rooms, and replaced within minutes (across an entire tile wall and the doors of the bathroom stalls) advertising Grape Street Crips 103rd. Likely the scribe doesn't belong to a gang, just imitating what they think is going to shock or impress. A quick Google reveals these are LA gangs, so probably our imitator has discovered a lyric or something about a favorite "artist" and has little or no clue.

Next week should be chaos. Grades are closed, so teachers will be scrambling to enter things into the school's computer system - naturally no way to import things directly from the OTHER system we are required to use. Plus school pictures are Monday - required for students to have their picture on their new ID badges (the temporary ones are breaking off the lanyards because the plastic is too thin. Hopefully the permanent ones will be more sturdy, but I doubt it). Add to this Homecoming week (again, a ridiculous idea in Middle School, but it is all about glorifying sports), plus a required standardized assessment (not the company hired for millions over the last two years, who recycled the first year's test for the second, and whose contract was not renewed) to take place this week. Teaching and Learning? I seem to remember it. Check back the following week.

On the heels of the disturbing "hot ham drink" - at the Kroger (local supermarket) saw a giant can of Bud Light (maybe 24 oz. - didn't want to get TOO close) mixed with Clamato juice. Um, yum? Bloody Caesar ( a drink popular a decade ago in Toronto when I used to go there for business - a Bloody Mary but with clam juice with the tomato) for those without access to a liquor store? Nasty. But funny.

Good Habits

I actually came back and turned on the computer before I called it a night. Writing here has become a necessary habit.

The day was pretty good. A more than dear friend gave me advice about my problem student, and I implemented an easier to track method of discipline. Pretty much ignored his antics, but moved him to a seat where he really has to try to talk to people, instead of being sneaky.

In all my classes I did a free-form review, using questions from the book but with a twist. I let the students volunteer to answer a question, and if they got it right, they got to pick a letter for a hangman/whee of fortune type game. If they got it wrong, I didn't correct or comment, just called on another student. The catch was, I only gave them 60 seconds. Stopwatches are wonderful. In one of my classes the kids figured out scientific notation without me doing a thing - they learned from each other. A proud moment for everybody.

And a nice twist, discussing this with my eldest, she commented she wished she had math teachers with creativity in her school (a private catholic high school). Then she mentioned that I was probably doing more good where I was. Quite a mature observation, and again, I was proud.

Only disturbing part of the day (aside from the poorly parsed sign at a fast food restaurant touting "Hot Ham Drink, Fries $4.99) was in my online game community. I don't write about them much here to keep the geek/nerd quotient down. Anyhow, I had been a part of the core team, but lately I have been being left out. Talked with the leader tonight, and it stems from the less than state of the art nature of my computer. In short, things happen and I see them a second or two later than others...which means if I am on fire, I am dead before I see the fire. It bums me out, but he wants to help me upgrade ( a positive thing). I just feel the same way I do when I have to deal with a mechanic. I use the machine/car, but beyond getting it to do what I want, I don't pay a hell of a lot of attention to the internal mechanics, and when pushed, I am embarrassed by my lack of knowledge. Looks like I will be learning, as I can't spend to get an up to date system, but will have to replace some outdated things, especially the video card, which may create a domino effect in which I have to then replace or upgrade RAM and possible a power supply.

Or, I can enjoy life the way I have been lately, with DVDs and non-gaming entertainment. But then I lose a core group of "friends" who I interact with daily.

Wit's End

I didn't exactly lose it today, but my Honors class brought up an interesting request that showed some thought on their part, but in the end it was just an attempt to foist their rules on the adult and continue to ignore the adult's rules.

There is one boy in the class who is especially difficult. He goes out of his way to flout the simplest rules, ignore appeals to stop and if directly asked to cut it out will defy me to my face, complain he is being picked on, and try to cast blame on others. Last week he repeatedly ate candy in my room - on one day he did it twice in the same period after having had to spit out the first piece. This resulted in a phone call to his mother. Two days ago, similar situation - constant talking until I have to call him by name and have a talk with him. This time he turned his back on me, deliberately. When I asked him to turn around, he did so grudgingly. Then proceeded to shut his eyes.

So today we had a long discussion about respect, and things that show a lack of respect. He talked to his neighbors through the whole discussion, but kept an eye on me to see if I would say anything to him. Twice I asked the entire class to stop the side talking. He and his friends didn't. Later he was humming or singing (which seems to be a cultural loophole, as many kids claim it doesn't count as "talking") and I directly asked students in his area to stop. He started again a few minutes later, and vehemently protested that he wasn't talking (loophole) and stopped talking when I asked the class, and never hummed or sang. In other words, my eyes and ears don't work, and I should take the word of an argumentative boy as to what he does or doesn't do.

When talking to the boy, the rest of the class was very loud, so I announced that because they couldn't let me have a private conversation, it would be public. This followed his mother's advice that he doesn't like to be made an example. Several students agreed that he had been talking and disrespectful, and naturally he claimed to have only heard voices that agreed with him. When I asked for hands to show who had heard him, suddenly memories were lost, and several students decided to back the boy - the same students who earlier had requested that I show the class more respect by not making jokes when I correct their errant behavior (What are you chewing? "nothing" Well you are chewing like a cow over there, it is hard to believe you don't have anything in your mouth - - this was deemed to be potentially upsetting to the chewing student).

Long story short, most of this class ate their lunch in my classroom. It was supposed to be a silent lunch, but again many would not be silent, and several continued to argue about the discipline and consequences of their actions. Tomorrow should be interesting, because I will be enforcing the letter of the law with no warnings.

Amazing

It is the final week of the grading period, and we continue to have students register. The girl today attended our school last year, but for some unknown reason (parental accountability) she has not attended any school yet. Which means an automatic fail for the first grading period. What are the parents thinking?

I am still keeping my emotional cool at school, which is not a common thing for me. I am still as dedicated as ever, but I guess I am not taking things quite as seriously, so when the kids derail my lessons, I just shrug it off. Which is not to say I ignore what they do - they get the consequences. And I still have the usual kids who complain things are boring, as they ignore the teaching and scrape by with minimal grades.

Physically I am feeling great. Legs are bands of iron. Metabolism is high, which is good when you generate a 20 mph wind in mid-60s temperatures before dawn. Within a mile I am nice and toasty at the core. Only problem being a furnace is that in normal temperatures with minimal movement I can pop a sweat. Just sitting at the computer can moisten me, and mind over matter means that thinking about exercise ramps up my metabolism.

But not enough to burn off my layer quickly. It is slow going, but in the long term I will be victorious. Too old to expect a six-pack, and not even aiming there. Just fitness, and fit from my normal clothes. Upper body in progress, as I have found that if my pectorals extend beyond my belly, clothes hang well. Oh, and flattening out things so my belt doesn't look like it is bisecting me.

I am a bitch

According to a student, anyhow. Walking my kids quietly to lunch and we passed the gym where a group of boys was waiting for their class to begin. Actually they were released from their earlier class and were waiting for the next class to begin. Not supervised (as is policy, but with exploratory classes, which draw from several classes, it doesn't happen). One of them decides to call out "Mr. Parry is a bitch" loudly enough to be heard 50 feet away, which is where we were. A bunch of my students laugh, and I give them the talk on not encouraging negative behavior. The catcalling continues, though, past when my class has entered the cafeteria. Now several of the boys are shoving on the gym door, trying to keep somebody inside. When I arrive, they all feign ignorance as to what was said and who said it. But several laugh and keep peeking into the gym. "there is a boy under the bleachers" I am told. He crawls out - - long story short he is a Special Ed student with quite a few anger issues, and was hiding from consequences. Our school has a bad track record of allowing kids with special needs to wander the halls with few if any consequences, and this is the result.

In a related story, I have a defiant honors student who likes to challenge me by doing things to provoke a correction (such as eating in my class, sometimes twice during a period). When corrected, he then becomes defiant, trying to rationalize things, and playing the victim to get support from his classmates. Naturally this leads to lost class time, which rewards the students who support his behavior, since they deduce if HE gets in trouble, they get to watch and be amused, and not pay a penalty for not having teaching take place. Long term thinking is not a strong suit, so they don't think of the consequences of losing that time when tests come around.

Getting chilly in the early pre-dawn. Today was in the 60s, and was kind of cool for riding at first. Was still kind of cool on the return trip, as well as blustery. Not to mention a number of little old ladies who cut me off without benefit of turn signals.

Accomplishments

Friday started out with an ego boost. Biking pre-dawn means I see little traffic, let alone bike traffic. But today I saw another biker, with a similar red rear-strobe. When I turned in behind him he was about 100 yards in front of me. I didn't sprint or try to catch up, but my natural pace was bringing me closer. As we went over the interstate, which involves a decent hill, I could tell he was in a much lower gear than me - he pedaled about 3 times for every one of my slow and massive thrusts. At the top he slowed, and I kept on (I had to get to work). As I passed I noticed he was in much better shape, with corded arms, a light racing bike with ultra skinny tires, logo jersey etc. Like a dirty pickup truck passing a sports car.

Friday is usually an assessment day, so there was a quiz waiting. When did kids stop looking at all the pages of a handout? I use all the sides of the paper, back and front, and this quiz went all 4. Granted, the last three pages had one problem per page, but still I had kids who missed the final problem because they never turned the page. On the good hand, I checked their homework while they did the quiz, and then graded it during my planning period, which was oddly not filled with an unannounced emergency.

Saturday was a nice sunny, hot day. The mid-town area has an artsy neighborhood named for the two streets that form the axes - Cooper Young. This weekend is the annual festival, which brings out local artists as well as the usual booths and such that are attracted to street fairs. Went with my art teacher buddy, Heather. Didn't buy anything, though. A few things were tempting. Then came home after a few hours in the sun and mowed the lawn, knowing Ike might stop by. And as if the lawn wasn't enough, I then re-arranged our storage room, which most people would call a garage, even though we can't put a car in it - there is a carport next to it. For you northerners, a carport is a roof over a driveway. Anyhow, turned the place into a reasonably organized room that can actually be used, without throwing anything out. Only casualty is my leg - took a 1.5 inch gash from some sharp leftover ceramic tiles.

Today, more educational fun. Our school decided to scrap the online communication system they had been using (teacherweb) and subscribed us to Teacherease, which is online grades. The downside, even though they knew they would be doing this for months, we only got access last week. Which means grades for the past 5 weeks have to be entered (and not just grades, but setting up classes and assignments - good thing this has a 'copy' feature) before the end of the coming week.

I do feel like I am on top of the organization part. My grades are all in now, they are also in my gradebook in writing. My desk is clear of any filing (this year I am keeping each student's work in a folder, pending parent visits), and the room is pretty close to where I would like it. Once this grading period starts, I am going to introduce some new wrinkles to my classes that should help a bit. Wow, one sixth of the way and I am not uncomfortable yet. This is a good thing, I think.

Crazy

I was all sweaty this morning, so trusting yet again in technology with digital readouts (having not learned my lesson with the lying scale that gives me six different readings in the span of 5 minutes, with a range of 16 pounds), I took my temperature. 100.3. Good thing I wasn't biking today - carpool day! I was kind of lightheaded and loopy the first hour or so, plus the added benefit of a constant sweat. It broke during the day, though.

Just got home from a "Junior Class Meeting" with talks about SAT and ACT scores, grades, colleges, etc. For somebody who went to an Ivy League school, I have virtually no experience in the admissions process. I sent one (yes one) application, and did my darnedest to screw it up so I would wind up at the state school next door. Fate had other plans, and the rest is pseudo-history. It seems to be much more complex, with many many more resources to practice, and more stringent requirements to get into even state schools nowdays. One year to go.

Relief

Woke up this morning to virtually no leg pain, and my throat is not sore. Still coughing some, but it is smaller chunks of oatmeal. No more gummy bears. I think biking helped burn out the cold fast. No clue about the other, except if I had a disk shift in my back, maybe muscles finally shifted it back.

This little news story made me laugh. http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080910/D9342OE81.html

I don't think I will encounter a bear on my daily trip, but I have a max speed of 25. When I saw the name of the middle school, I laughed harder. Wouldn't fly in the south.

Fun doesn't encompass my day. Had a cell phone go off in my class today. Kids were in an uproar, nobody would fess up to having it. So I called an administrator with a handheld metal detector. He promised 3 days suspension if he had to use the wand. Still nothing. Finally a girl says she has one, but the battery is out. When asked where the phone is, a different girl says it is over there. Over there turns out to be on a shelf in a cubby, under a book laid horizontally over the books arranged there. Either she loaned her purse to these girls, or something, but they put the battery in it, caused a fuss, removed the battery, hid the phone (to avoid the metal detection) then lied in confidence. To top it off, one of the girls tried to vanish from where we told her to wait for consequences. Principal intervened, and I think a message was sent loud and clear to all those girls, plus the word got around to all our rooms.

Absence of pain feels pretty good after a couple of days. Good thing pain pills won't cut it for me usually, or I might get hooked. Nice to feel comfortable.

Gummy Bears

I can remember a time, long long ago, when Gummy Bears (actually called Gummi Bears, since they were imported from Germany) were the only gummy candy and you could only find them in well-stocked candy counters. They were hard at first, and would soften eventually in your mouth, from both moisture and heat. Bear with me, there is a connection.

I could barely talk today - throat was pretty bad. Sometimes I was so hoarse I could only croak, other times the frog in my throat would interrupt my breathing and force me to cough. Said cough was wracking, and produced the aforementioned gummy bears. Size and consistency. Such fun. Trying to burn this out of my system through exercise. Might even work.

The upper leg pain continues. Not sure if my lower back is being compressed by muscle development or poor belt/pant interface. Painful all day, standing or sitting - nothing much changed it, so I just lived with it. Took a couple of the pills I used to take for my neck pain (which isn't currently holding a candle to the legs). They make me pretty sleepy after a while, and hopefully will allow me to get a night's sleep.

Today's pet peeve: pronunciation. I have always hated the urban use of the word "axe" to represent the spelling "ask." Now my students have an equally annoying problem they are unable to correct - pronouncing the long "U" sound as 'er'. It makes them sound like idiots, and worse, it makes them harder to understand, since they rarely make an effort to speak properly. I get to hear things like "comperter" and "skerl" instead of computer and school. This laziness means that many different vowel sounds are replaced by the easy to learn, easy to master "er". Where is it? It is over ther. She has a bow in her her. Hey, he got more than me, that's not fur. I am not skered of him.

Chronic Pain

No clue what I did, but I think it involves my lower back, and probably our big cat Max who tried to kill me. He was chasing a fly and ran between my feet when I was walking. My back (right) foot caught his side and it staggered me. I have a mass advantage on him, so I didn't go down, but it twisted me good. So last night I had sciatica pain in my right leg, on top of the cold that was occupying my throat.

Today I was pretty tired. Still, biked in. Was uncomfortable to stand, sitting didn't do much to ease that. Not really painful to bike, and it is definitely not muscular. Tonight it continues, both thighs (which is new, since now my nerve pain is on both sides), so I plan to take a little something to cut that edge. Throat feels sandpapered, with some irresistible coughing thrown in. Which of course affects the nerve pain in the neck and shoulder.

Funny, the things we remember and forget. (Switching gears here, so bear with me) Got a Facebook message from a good friend's sister, asking if I was the person who used to play pool in her cellar (basement) and drink their liquor. For the life of me, I can't remember a basement. Or playing pool there, for that matter. I am sure I did, it is just blank. I remember a few Christmas parties there. I remember playing with her son and his He-Man and Masters of the Universe set. But a basement? Totally blank.

Growing up we didn't have a usable, finished basement. It was a creepy place, with a low beamed ceiling. One side where you could walk was floored with gravel, over dirt. The other side didn't extend to the floor - just dirt contained by rock retaining wall about chest high. You never knew what sort of nature lived there, or was just visiting. And since the house itself didn't have a very big footprint, the basement was tiny. I kind of envied friends whose houses had basements that were actually rooms, and that didn't scare you.

Good and Bad News

New superintendent of schools sent everybody an informational email yesterday or today (I don't pay attention to date stamps). Good news is they have balanced the budget, sort of. It takes some $40million of cuts and another $30million from reserves. This means that once the state approves it, the negotiated 2% raise will be instated, plus the annual "step" increase, which is like $1,000 each year you stay in. Again, IF/WHEN the budget gets the stamp, it will be paid out, retroactive to July (which means windfall, with 3 months of increases coming at once).

Then the bad news. As part of the cuts, 208 (or so) unfilled jobs will be cut, and 126 existing jobs will be eliminated. There was an "emergency" meeting this afternoon that I missed due to picking up oldest and her friend from school. Rumor was (from my union rep who is also a teacher on my team) that the 126 people surplussed, if they choose to stay in the system, will be able to 'bump' anybody of lesser seniority out of their teaching position. This brings up all sorts of questions of school/team dynamics, seniority over quality, etc. Some of those teachers have been sitting on their asses, essentially invulnerable, just doing time to get their retirement. I imagine the teams they join will ostracize (wow, spelled that right on the first try) them for breaking up their teams, etc. I also assume that this will be limited to a single wave...in other words, if I got bumped out of my position, I wouldn't be able to bump somebody in return. That would essentially kill off a generation or two of new teachers, and cripple the system in a new and different way.

I have five years. Probably more than enough. I teach Math, a subject that gets the scrutiny along with Reading/Language Arts. I am highly qualified. "Remora" teachers, clinging to the system won't want to work hard and get results. But I am at a middle school that is probably the most desirable, both in terms of physical plant (building is only 8 years old) and environment, so it might attract some attention.

I've been saying I can cope with change. However this affects me or my school, I think I am going to get to prove my boast.

Cranky

This week has gone on long enough, dammit. If weather cooperated, I would be biking tomorrow, but oldest wants to invite a friend home with her, and needs me to get them from school. Since she socializes so little, we want to encourage it, but I get to sacrifice my exercise. On the other hand, I have a nasty scratchy acidic feeling on the back of my throat which should develop into a cold soon, so maybe rest is a good choice.

Feeling kind of alone.

Things I forgot

For example, Monday I took the oldest to the successor to the Mid-South Fair, the Delta Fair. Or as some call it "the white-people's fair" since the old fair is held in a pretty ugly part of town, attracts lower socio-economic demographics, and is kind of cheap and sleazy. Not that this wasn't, it was just not in the middle of a city. Same kind of food, same rides, etc. Got a dandy sunburn from four hours of cloudy but windy.

NetFlix is in the house. Got the first disk of Supernatural tonight, and enjoying the hell out of it. Also watched five episodes of Dexter online. Not sure how this will keep going, as shared experiences around here have a relatively short shelf life. I anticipate watching things myself and reporting back to the wife, or waiting an exorbitantly long time to watch them together, and having it never happen. Yes, cynical.

The saga of the school pep rally continued today. Not satisfied with canceling it at the last minute, and requiring teachers to refund the money, the school cut all the homeroom teachers a personal check and told us to cash it, get singles, and refund the money to the students by today. Since I didn't get to a bank until after they closed yesterday, and I get 20 minutes for lunch, I scraped up some singles and refunded most, then cashed the check this afternoon. Too much of a burden on us, especially for somebody else's screwup.

Mood: melancholy. Feeling kind of alone, surrounded by people. Socializing more at school, thinking about having some teachers over for grilling and gaming (Guitar Hero and Rock Band). Wife is going out of town early/mid-October - back to NYC for a "girls' weekend" whatever the hell that means. Not sure why this bothers me, but for somebody who didn't like my travel schedule when it was required for business, she is taking a whole bunch of personal trips, and not talking much about them.

I think too much.

Hardship

Today, with Gustav sending tendrils north, was not so fun. Train in my way, stopped dead. Waited a few minutes, then peeked down the tracks. Intersection a mile down was clear, so had to ride an extra bit, then go fast to make up the lost time. Not so easy with 30 mph headwinds on a bicycle that can only go 25 mph if I am going down a decent hill. Then I got to school and my peach (breakfast) had gone too far. Smelled good, but was pretty mealy and not sweet or flavorful. Choked down half imagining I was starving and needed the nutrition.

Left earlier than normal, too, to get home before any weather. Biking is getting much easier. No admirers today, though.

Lemon Tree

Not a parable, a morality play or any of those disguised stories with a message, but a little thoughtful story about my Lemon Tree.

Years ago, I got a little tiny lemon tree on clearance at one of those home improvement stores. It caught my eye. Lemon Tree was in a little one gallon plastic pot, with a couple or three tiny white flowers. There was potential. It was a comfortable time, with friends around, and Lemon Tree found a home in a newly cleared garden by the "patio." For lack of a better word. Because "ugly slab of decaying concrete" sounds less impressive.

As summer slid to fall, Lemon Tree produced a small lemon, very tiny but lemony. Perhaps the size of a fingernail. But perfect and cute. Fall slid further to winter, and Lemon Tree succumbed to a few days of hard frost. If I remember, we had 4 days around Christmas that never went above 20, and there was ice. Lemon Tree became a stick. And I wrote off Lemon Tree as a failure.

Spring did not change anything. The rest of the garden exploded with weeds and some bulbs that kept memories of absent friends alive. Lemon Tree remained a stick. Summer, though, brought a surprise. Leaves sprouted from Lemon Tree, and over the warm months it looked as though Lemon Tree would regain its former glory. Glossy, deep green leaves, long wicked looking spikes.

Winter, though, had other plans. Since Lemon Tree had survived once, I let it continue on borrowed time. Again, the frost reduced it to a stick, actually two sticks now. And when spring and summer came, again I had no hopes of seeing another rebirth. Lemon Tree was not destined to survive a week of harshness. Memories of orange farmers in Florida placing smudge pots among their groves to protect the trees from frost (well, actually the fruit) made me doubt.

Finally, late in June, Lemon Tree again burst forth with leaves and growth. This time I did not let it down, but gathered a shovel, a large pot and some tropical soil. And Lemon Tree became a commuter. It lived on the deck until late October, then moved several feet, in view of the deck from inside the french doors. And Lemon Tree continued to grow, slowly, basking in the weak winter sunlight, and protected from the harsher elements.

Spring commuted Lemon Tree back to the deck. This afternoon while smoking a brisket (which has nothing to do with inhaling), I admired it. From the former "sticks" two new shoots have emerged. The existing growth has flung forth branches with handfuls of leaves. Even in this relatively small pot (3 or 5 gallons), it is more than waist high. No blossoms or fruit since that initial surprise. And no single trunk to speak of, but a spreading, chaotic mess of leaves, thorns, branches and stems. And when winter threatens, back inside to bask. Eventually to a bigger pot, perhaps with casters, since it will be getting heavier. And it will always remind of of who, and when, and not to give up, even if things seem to have fallen through hardship.