Monday, March 30, 2009

Right Back to it

Monday, blah. But the highlight was I rode the bike both ways, and felt just dandy. Was worried a bit about a long-ish hiatus, but with warmer weather my body is stepping up. Double bonus -- due to some pseudo-infighting in my oldest's carpool, the one girl who is a senior and drives will be taking over every day until the end of the year...which means I can bike 5 days a week.

I am getting frustrated with eBay. Trying to land a good looking RAF goretex jacket, and constantly getting outbid. And once it is sold, another one goes up in its place. This seller also has Royal Navy goretex pants...needless to say he is in England, so shipping will be steep. But I want them. Tomorrow a couple of wetsuits close, so keep fingers crossed.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Weekend musings

Pretty relaxing all in all, but lots of stuff going on. Oldest daughter was off on a campout (which turned into not exactly camping, as temperatures dropped and they crashed in doors), had three people over for our Dinner-for-Eight group (yes, 3 did not show, I can still count), which meant prep and cooking on Saturday. Swam a bit as part of training...a little back and forth and a lot of leg work, as I don't expect to use my arms much snorkeling. Then again, I probably won't be using my legs in the same way I was training, five minutes at a time either.

With the three strangers over, I am still able to socialize, but at the same time really not enjoy being around new people. Not thinking of becoming a hermit, but I am much of a spectator, and then I over-review what was said...relaxing would be nice.

Easter is coming up, surprisingly fast. April will be gone before too long, and it hasn't even arrived yet.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Another week down

A trying time, but made it through. My sub on Wednesday appeared to not have read the notes I left her, so most of my students did not re-take a quiz or start to work on a project. Kids tell me she sat at the desk most of the time. I sit at that desk only when students are not in the room. Go figure.

Which means shuffling everything that might have happened on plan. Then today one of my students, stretching his legs, broke one of the two working computer jacks in the room. This will make it impossible to achieve a 90 minute goal for 12 students a week to use an application, with a single computer.

Adding to the stress, I have another bulletin board to "decorate", a "drop-in" on Monday morning to see how I am addressing missed questions on the formative assessment, and got pulled into the Principal's office, along with another of my team, to be informed that some of our ring-leader students are sharing with other their strategies for button pushing and classroom disruption, and are now experimenting in other classes. So, we should be less predictable in the coming weeks. Never mind that we are also supposed to have a routine and stick to it to minimize disruptions.

On the brighter side, next year the school will have an optional program, which the Principal says will probably be one team with all Honors classes. On the darker side, the district is going to mandate block scheduling, which was a nightmare last year. You surely can't win them all.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Professional Development

Sort of a day off. As part of this Saturday a month math teaching I signed up for (2 more Saturdays, plus a week of 9-noon) I had to travel to the 'hood for another session of training. It is light work, and aside from the perils of transportation, an easy day. I got picked on a bit in class...mainly because I was the only man in the class and easy to pick out, but also because I know the material and am on the ball with Math. Realized part way through that, if the Superintendent decides to follow through with massive budget cuts, and if our school becomes one of the few schools to house an optional program, I could potentially teach Math AND Science concurrently. In other words, incorporate math learning in the science curriculum. It would be tons of work, but very possible.

And during this whole thing I was formulating/adapting the lesson to the upcoming Australian gig. I wish I felt more confident about my teaching, but that is just me having extremely high (and inhumanly unreachable) expectations of myself.

For a nice "genius" moment, as I left the school I found myself exiting via a different street from which I entered this morning. On instinct I turned left and realized I wasn't on the same street I had been on, and internally debated whether I had turned the right way. A few lights later, I hit a familiar street, but the quandry was, which way to turn. Instincts again said left-turn. Then I let my logical side try to figure out why. It seems I naturally examine shadows, and know that in the afternoon I want the sun on my left side to be heading north. Might explain why I never got turned around in New York, either.

Monday, March 23, 2009

End and Begging (of the End)

Spring Break is over. Parts were quite restful, and I did some reading and relaxing - just enjoying time without too many responsibilities. Eye exam was decent, and now am wearing much stronger contacts (sort of a trial pair) before moving my weak right eye to a stronger lens. Bifocals soon, I fear, as I have trouble seeing things close up.

Brain scans were all "normal" whatever that means. I guess I don't have anything that indicates epilepsy or something.

Meanwhile the anxiety, subconscious, has really triggered my neck into a flareup. Pretty painful and hard to sleep. Washing the dogs - why do dogs find the nastiest smelling part of the backyard to roll in? - has given me a lower back ache, plus right hamstring. Kind of difficult to get up from a sitting position, and I limp for a bit until it works itself out. So, naturally what did I do? I biked home today. Mid 70s, took it easy, but everything feels looser, and I feel slightly (only slightly) better about my physical condition. From here on, a training mindset.

School? Kids were monsters today. All getting back together and just wanting to socialize, ignoring the teaching. On the brighter side, I only had 8 students score below range on the last and final formative assessment. This is good, down from 12 the last time. Bad news is, there is only an overlap of 2 students. So the TCAP is a crap shoot....if all 20 kids are firing on most cylinders my class scores will look good and I will meet the district goal. If all of them bomb, well, it will be ugly. Although the TCAP has been easier than these pre-tests in the past....

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Making Progress

What a strange and interesting week this has been, so far. Research, purchase, postponement, and lots of confusion and doctor's appointments.

Monday I set off for the two dive shops in town. One is near mid-town and turned out to be a hard-to-find bungalow on a side street. But the man there was very enthusiastic and showed me all kinds of things. The only problem was the price tags. My pipe-dream of coming in under $100 went out the window as he described the fins, mask, booties, snorkel, plus gloves, wetsuit and dive certification (because this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience, even though I think snorkeling will be sufficient for my needs) which added up to several hundreds of dollars. Just the basic gear would run about $200, without a wetsuit or lessons. My biggest chuckle came from his estimation of my size for the wetsuit - "you look about my size, so I would say an extra-large." For the record, I have never been estimated to be an extra-large in ANYTHING, so I am still laughing. But will be looking for an extra-large on eBay.

The second shop was more like a polished department store. Lots of floor space, standing racks of women's swimsuits, wall displays of different dive packages. Lessons were more expensive than at the bungalow, with an extra price (equal to the lessons) for the free-dive portion of the certification. The man there (a retired police officer from Mississippi) explained about the physics of dive fins and snorkels. Very educational as well.

Once I got home, back to eBay, and found a package with the premium fins suggested by polished man, plus booties, gloves, mask, snorkel and a carry bag for less than the items would have cost at either place. Tuesday, eBay sent me a nice email notifying me of a 10% coupon if I paid with PayPal, so I nabbed the buy-it-now option (with FREE shipping) and am waiting for delivery. Yay.

Tuesday also had a visit to the U of T medical labs for the pre-diabetes study. No, they aren't waiting for me to get it, but they are studying adults of black and white families whose parent or parent has diabetes. They drew some blood, injected me with a nice jelly (glucose tolerance test) which made me get all hot, then drew more blood. Like at the dive shop, I got a big chuckle out of one of the nurses measuring my waist. They find the hipbones, then the end of the short ribs. Trying to find my ribs, she commented that I was "dense"...I guess I am a bit more muscular than the usual patient.

From there, on to the accountant, where we finished off our taxes for last year. Yay again...a month early. Eventually we will get a refund, which won't stimulate the economy because it will go to pay of a portion of our HELOC, which we use to pay our property taxes. Go figure.

Now I am peeking around on eBay for a shortie wetsuit...short sleeves and legs. Plus the waterproof jacket/pants. I saw a nice one at Dick's Sporting Goods, which has a lot of hunting supplies, but also keeping my eyes out online to save some money.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

The start

This week (off) will be a sort of challenge, full of scheduled appointments (multiple doctors, accountant, etc.) and a to-do list which begins the preliminary Australia prep. I got a starter list of things I will be needing (goretex coat and pants, scuba booties, one-person tent (camping, yay!)) and things I will want (waterproof camera, or a decent waterproof case for one I have, snorkel, fins and a good mask)...optimistically setting a budget at $100. This means much haunting of eBay, especially looking for military surplus. The US stuff is all camo, which I don't care for, but I have my eye on a nice RAF jacket with zip-out liner...the seller has a ton of them and they are always up, I just have to not be outbid. Pants are harder, but there are plenty of lightweight ski/snowboard pants. I imagine a lot of daily wear clothes will be left there...my PhD candidate says shark slime doesn't really come out, and I don't want to look like an extra from a horror movie.

Been looking at maps, too. Not the area, but more global maps with time zones. I know I cross the dateline and gain an entire day going west, and get it back coming east. I won't worry about it overly much, just change my watch when told to. Might be good to get a water resistant watch too...already have my optometrist appointment for updated glasses and contacts (but will bring any leftovers of the old set just in case).

Another nice, incidental thing to know - I did get an email from the team there, so there is some (limited I would guess) computer access. Not sure how much I will be able to post or blog but I plan to journal just about everything...sort of a written version of a Japanese camera tourist. Then, if all else fails, I can post somewhere a daily journal once I get back, annotated with pictures. A lofty goal.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Normal

The MRI/CAT scan was normal, and today the EEG was normal...so I am just nuts in the head, nothing organic.

And sent out an update email to my contact in Australia (they are there now, doing research) to get an equipment list and such for Spring Break shopping. Forgot it was the beginning of the day there and got a reply email pretty quickly. Amazingly it is only a couple of months away now.

Tired, just tired. And tonight there is a chance of freezing rain and sleet, through noon tomorrow...goodbye 3 days of 80 degrees.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Fun with Chemistry

Not....

The anti-anxiety medicine makes me feel lethargic and tired. Halfway nodding off, which is not a great thing in a classroom where I am the teacher. But it was a testing day, so it didn't matter too much. Might try skipping it tomorrow, and see if I can maintain an even keel.

Over 80 today - - go figure. Supposed to be back down in the 30s soon (at night, anyhow), so I will sort of enjoy it.

Three more days...I think I can do it. Well, I don't really have much of a choice, do I?

Oh, and the neurologist office called and the CAT/MRI didn't show anything unusual. I guess the EEG tomorrow will rule out epilepsy or somesuch brainwave disorders....I really don't want to give up those voices in my head, though.

Monday, March 9, 2009

What a difference a week makes

Last week we were watching the snow melt from our one storm. This week the temperature is in the mid to high 70s. Mowed the lawn in shorts and worked up a sweat. Every year the hardy patches of bright green grass spread a little more. Maybe in ten years or so they will all merge and make a lovely lawn. I can see some "baby" grass in the areas I scattered seed, so that is a plus.

School was fine today. We did a nice little activity with combinations that went well. Quiz tomorrow and a pre-test for one section of the TCAP prep. Two days of drill/skill on the things they do poorly on (ok, English majors, on which they do poorly) with a post-test to measure improvement on Friday. Then cue the music, and Spring Break begins.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Updates and such

Friday was spent, first, at the neurologist's office. 7:30 is a nice peaceful time, as there is nobody else around, and you get fast service, but not rushed. Nice chat with the doctor - basically he doesn't see this as a stroke or anything - no diminished motor functions on either side. What I called aphasia - the inability to place names with faces or titles with books - he diagnosed as short-term amnesia. Not usually a feature of panic attacks, so he sent me downstairs for a CAT scan. I think this makes my third in about 5 years...the first was for horrendous headaches that were mainly due to the crappy air quality here. Waiting for results on that, and an EEG is scheduled for Wednesday.

The rest of Friday was kind of nice, running around doing errands, getting the family ready for travel. They left this morning early (dropped off before 7am) for a double dose of time-change, both daylight savings plus a switch to Eastern from Central. I have spent the rest of the day planning my week's lessons, which is nice because 5 days of teaching (sans attacks, hopefully) and I am on my own Spring Break, plus making a HUGE pot of chili and watching NetFlix.

Big pet peeve of the day - watching a foreign film in a language with which I have some education. French to be precise, and it pisses me off to hear somebody say "troi" but see the subtitle say "two." Or ever worse, hear "merde" translated as "oh my god." Or the same greeting word translated as two different multi-word greetings when said, one after the other, by two different people.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

A really bad day

Nothing school related - although it took place at school. Every once in a while I have a day of deja vu (in fact writing this, I am getting the feeling)...an endless day of feeling like I dreamed the whole day at some point, but disjointed, in pieces. And as the day goes on, those pieces float to the surface, triggered by what I am doing.

Today was worse. As homeroom is getting under way, I have a bad feeling. I go into my room to snag a paper for one of my team teachers, and after I give it to her, I start hyperventilating. I have had a couple of panic attacks before so I recognized it right away. I moved away from the kids into a stairwell and sat and breathed for a bit. After maybe 10 minutes I felt like I could try again. In the past they have been isolated events - it happens and it is over. Today, no. The attack included aphasia...I couldn't remember many names, like one of my team teachers, the guidance counselor, or one of my students.

Then the second attack hit. Worse than the first. One of my team teachers helped me to the office and called my wife. I still had difficulty with some words and some memory (it took me two tries for my home phone number). Went directly to my doctor's office and sat there for 90 minutes. Classic panic attack, except for the aphasia. So now, I have an appointment with a neurologist tomorrow.

Literally ten minutes ago I had another attack. Deja vu, weird images surfacing that I could swear I had dreamed (familiarity), hyperventilating, moaning, the whole bit. This time, again, I lost words - still having some trouble getting them back. Couldn't remember the title of the book that was face down at my desk, looking at the back cover - I had to turn it over. Haven't opened the Xanax prescription the doctor wrote.

In seven years I have had two panic attacks. Today I have had three, so far. Nothing new, nothing has changed. Not really enjoying this at all.

Bleh

While teaching this week has been pretty good - probability is a good time for everybody, with coin flipping and other explorations - I still have a little pit of yuck in me. There are issues with quite a number of difficult students, some historically difficult, and others who we have been saddled with for a single day (a transfer from another team, and she managed to be disrespectful and uncooperative to all four teachers in her first day with us). Constantly dealing with the same issues with the same students just illustrates how ineffective the consequences are when there is little or no support from a parent or caregiver.

Meanwhile, my "spring break" is shaping up to be a series of doctor appointments - 3 out of five days so far, not including the accountant for taxes. Just what a vacation should be.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Frozen

Things are still kind of frozen here. Streets are clear and dry, but most shady areas still have snow and ice. Driving is no problem, and the weather predictors claim we will be mid-70s before the week ends.

Looking forward to teaching this week. Chapter on probability. Always fun, always hands-on. Lots of demonstrations and examples. Which leads into next week, where I will be alone in the house, except for pets, and will be doing endless pre-Spring Break TCAP preparations. Such fun. No, we don't teach to the test...not us.

If anybody out there is looking for distractions, I highly recommend conceptispuzzles.com
Sudoku and variations, plus other logic puzzles, from basic to complex.

And after years of waiting, this is the week of Watchmen. I have loved the graphic novel for quite a long time and have loaned out different copies over the years. My original copy was read and read more and is MIA. The nicer one, a gift from the people at DC Comics (and inscribed by a couple of higher-ups) is still here. It will be interesting to see how another "unfilmable" book (like Lord of the Rings) is received by people not exposed to the source material.