Saturday, January 26, 2008

Random Thoughts

I don't know what made me think of it, but for the past few weeks I have been contemplating my thumbnails. They are thicker than my other nails, maybe because they are much wider *shrug*. On the other hand, or foot, my big toenails are extremely thick and dense, but not terribly wide even though my big toes are almost circular. Thoughts on my nails brought me back to something I remember reading about the western frontier, and how tough guys would allow their thumbnails to grow very long and practice gouging - basically popping an eye out. Seems pretty primitive compared to fisticuffs, and the loser had quite a bit to lose. Did they artificially strengthen their nails, like women do today? No Walgreens on the corner though. I imagine they had prosthetic devices to protect their nails, like little grapefruit spoons, with serated edges. I could Wiki all this junk, but somebody probably put in a made up article about it. Did they practice on livestock? Recently butchered meat animals - if they were humane (big laugh here). I can't imagine you could get good at something like this before you lost twice and were pretty much blind. Maybe they could pop the eye back in, but then what if the eye were injured/pierced by the thumbnail.

There is a story aching to be written here.

Just now at the grocery, I used my psychic mathematical skills to amaze a young woman. She was pondering the non-fat milk door of the dairy section. Finally she grabbed two gallon jugs and put them in her cart. I took a half-gallon and told her "this is the one you wanted." Then I explained that since the halves were 3/$5, that worked out to 3 gallons for $10. The gallons were priced at $3.63, or .30 more per gallon. Trust me, I am a math teacher. This kind of stuff never impresses anybody I try to teach though. Maybe I should have a TV show called Mental Math or something, explaining easy tricks for those who are scared of math. Yeah...but I bet you never thought there would be an entire TV network devoted to nothing but food either (or cheapass jewelry, but that is another topic).

1 comment:

Donna said...

I have learned to never try to explain the math thing to people in a grocery store. They look at you like your some kind of freak and then frequently disbelieve you.

My favorite was at the Super Bowl sale last year at my local needlework shop. The lady checking out in front of me knew something was wrong with the total, but couldn't explain exactly what was wrong. The chicklette running the adding machine denied anything was wrong. I said that the total with the discount could not possibly be large than the undiscounted amount. That got the shop owner's attention and she came running to relieve the chickypoo.