Not....
The anti-anxiety medicine makes me feel lethargic and tired. Halfway nodding off, which is not a great thing in a classroom where I am the teacher. But it was a testing day, so it didn't matter too much. Might try skipping it tomorrow, and see if I can maintain an even keel.
Over 80 today - - go figure. Supposed to be back down in the 30s soon (at night, anyhow), so I will sort of enjoy it.
Three more days...I think I can do it. Well, I don't really have much of a choice, do I?
Oh, and the neurologist office called and the CAT/MRI didn't show anything unusual. I guess the EEG tomorrow will rule out epilepsy or somesuch brainwave disorders....I really don't want to give up those voices in my head, though.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
What a difference a week makes
Last week we were watching the snow melt from our one storm. This week the temperature is in the mid to high 70s. Mowed the lawn in shorts and worked up a sweat. Every year the hardy patches of bright green grass spread a little more. Maybe in ten years or so they will all merge and make a lovely lawn. I can see some "baby" grass in the areas I scattered seed, so that is a plus.
School was fine today. We did a nice little activity with combinations that went well. Quiz tomorrow and a pre-test for one section of the TCAP prep. Two days of drill/skill on the things they do poorly on (ok, English majors, on which they do poorly) with a post-test to measure improvement on Friday. Then cue the music, and Spring Break begins.
School was fine today. We did a nice little activity with combinations that went well. Quiz tomorrow and a pre-test for one section of the TCAP prep. Two days of drill/skill on the things they do poorly on (ok, English majors, on which they do poorly) with a post-test to measure improvement on Friday. Then cue the music, and Spring Break begins.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Updates and such
Friday was spent, first, at the neurologist's office. 7:30 is a nice peaceful time, as there is nobody else around, and you get fast service, but not rushed. Nice chat with the doctor - basically he doesn't see this as a stroke or anything - no diminished motor functions on either side. What I called aphasia - the inability to place names with faces or titles with books - he diagnosed as short-term amnesia. Not usually a feature of panic attacks, so he sent me downstairs for a CAT scan. I think this makes my third in about 5 years...the first was for horrendous headaches that were mainly due to the crappy air quality here. Waiting for results on that, and an EEG is scheduled for Wednesday.
The rest of Friday was kind of nice, running around doing errands, getting the family ready for travel. They left this morning early (dropped off before 7am) for a double dose of time-change, both daylight savings plus a switch to Eastern from Central. I have spent the rest of the day planning my week's lessons, which is nice because 5 days of teaching (sans attacks, hopefully) and I am on my own Spring Break, plus making a HUGE pot of chili and watching NetFlix.
Big pet peeve of the day - watching a foreign film in a language with which I have some education. French to be precise, and it pisses me off to hear somebody say "troi" but see the subtitle say "two." Or ever worse, hear "merde" translated as "oh my god." Or the same greeting word translated as two different multi-word greetings when said, one after the other, by two different people.
The rest of Friday was kind of nice, running around doing errands, getting the family ready for travel. They left this morning early (dropped off before 7am) for a double dose of time-change, both daylight savings plus a switch to Eastern from Central. I have spent the rest of the day planning my week's lessons, which is nice because 5 days of teaching (sans attacks, hopefully) and I am on my own Spring Break, plus making a HUGE pot of chili and watching NetFlix.
Big pet peeve of the day - watching a foreign film in a language with which I have some education. French to be precise, and it pisses me off to hear somebody say "troi" but see the subtitle say "two." Or ever worse, hear "merde" translated as "oh my god." Or the same greeting word translated as two different multi-word greetings when said, one after the other, by two different people.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
A really bad day
Nothing school related - although it took place at school. Every once in a while I have a day of deja vu (in fact writing this, I am getting the feeling)...an endless day of feeling like I dreamed the whole day at some point, but disjointed, in pieces. And as the day goes on, those pieces float to the surface, triggered by what I am doing.
Today was worse. As homeroom is getting under way, I have a bad feeling. I go into my room to snag a paper for one of my team teachers, and after I give it to her, I start hyperventilating. I have had a couple of panic attacks before so I recognized it right away. I moved away from the kids into a stairwell and sat and breathed for a bit. After maybe 10 minutes I felt like I could try again. In the past they have been isolated events - it happens and it is over. Today, no. The attack included aphasia...I couldn't remember many names, like one of my team teachers, the guidance counselor, or one of my students.
Then the second attack hit. Worse than the first. One of my team teachers helped me to the office and called my wife. I still had difficulty with some words and some memory (it took me two tries for my home phone number). Went directly to my doctor's office and sat there for 90 minutes. Classic panic attack, except for the aphasia. So now, I have an appointment with a neurologist tomorrow.
Literally ten minutes ago I had another attack. Deja vu, weird images surfacing that I could swear I had dreamed (familiarity), hyperventilating, moaning, the whole bit. This time, again, I lost words - still having some trouble getting them back. Couldn't remember the title of the book that was face down at my desk, looking at the back cover - I had to turn it over. Haven't opened the Xanax prescription the doctor wrote.
In seven years I have had two panic attacks. Today I have had three, so far. Nothing new, nothing has changed. Not really enjoying this at all.
Today was worse. As homeroom is getting under way, I have a bad feeling. I go into my room to snag a paper for one of my team teachers, and after I give it to her, I start hyperventilating. I have had a couple of panic attacks before so I recognized it right away. I moved away from the kids into a stairwell and sat and breathed for a bit. After maybe 10 minutes I felt like I could try again. In the past they have been isolated events - it happens and it is over. Today, no. The attack included aphasia...I couldn't remember many names, like one of my team teachers, the guidance counselor, or one of my students.
Then the second attack hit. Worse than the first. One of my team teachers helped me to the office and called my wife. I still had difficulty with some words and some memory (it took me two tries for my home phone number). Went directly to my doctor's office and sat there for 90 minutes. Classic panic attack, except for the aphasia. So now, I have an appointment with a neurologist tomorrow.
Literally ten minutes ago I had another attack. Deja vu, weird images surfacing that I could swear I had dreamed (familiarity), hyperventilating, moaning, the whole bit. This time, again, I lost words - still having some trouble getting them back. Couldn't remember the title of the book that was face down at my desk, looking at the back cover - I had to turn it over. Haven't opened the Xanax prescription the doctor wrote.
In seven years I have had two panic attacks. Today I have had three, so far. Nothing new, nothing has changed. Not really enjoying this at all.
Bleh
While teaching this week has been pretty good - probability is a good time for everybody, with coin flipping and other explorations - I still have a little pit of yuck in me. There are issues with quite a number of difficult students, some historically difficult, and others who we have been saddled with for a single day (a transfer from another team, and she managed to be disrespectful and uncooperative to all four teachers in her first day with us). Constantly dealing with the same issues with the same students just illustrates how ineffective the consequences are when there is little or no support from a parent or caregiver.
Meanwhile, my "spring break" is shaping up to be a series of doctor appointments - 3 out of five days so far, not including the accountant for taxes. Just what a vacation should be.
Meanwhile, my "spring break" is shaping up to be a series of doctor appointments - 3 out of five days so far, not including the accountant for taxes. Just what a vacation should be.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Frozen
Things are still kind of frozen here. Streets are clear and dry, but most shady areas still have snow and ice. Driving is no problem, and the weather predictors claim we will be mid-70s before the week ends.
Looking forward to teaching this week. Chapter on probability. Always fun, always hands-on. Lots of demonstrations and examples. Which leads into next week, where I will be alone in the house, except for pets, and will be doing endless pre-Spring Break TCAP preparations. Such fun. No, we don't teach to the test...not us.
If anybody out there is looking for distractions, I highly recommend conceptispuzzles.com
Sudoku and variations, plus other logic puzzles, from basic to complex.
And after years of waiting, this is the week of Watchmen. I have loved the graphic novel for quite a long time and have loaned out different copies over the years. My original copy was read and read more and is MIA. The nicer one, a gift from the people at DC Comics (and inscribed by a couple of higher-ups) is still here. It will be interesting to see how another "unfilmable" book (like Lord of the Rings) is received by people not exposed to the source material.
Looking forward to teaching this week. Chapter on probability. Always fun, always hands-on. Lots of demonstrations and examples. Which leads into next week, where I will be alone in the house, except for pets, and will be doing endless pre-Spring Break TCAP preparations. Such fun. No, we don't teach to the test...not us.
If anybody out there is looking for distractions, I highly recommend conceptispuzzles.com
Sudoku and variations, plus other logic puzzles, from basic to complex.
And after years of waiting, this is the week of Watchmen. I have loved the graphic novel for quite a long time and have loaned out different copies over the years. My original copy was read and read more and is MIA. The nicer one, a gift from the people at DC Comics (and inscribed by a couple of higher-ups) is still here. It will be interesting to see how another "unfilmable" book (like Lord of the Rings) is received by people not exposed to the source material.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Let it Snow
Started around noon, but amazingly the weather people didn't panic, but informed us that it would melt quickly on roads. On the lawns, a nice accumulation. It didn't stop us from attending a trivia night at the oldest's school - - a couple of overpasses had compacted frozen buildup, but nothing to worry about.
Trivia night is always fun, and for me doubly so because I don't know all the answers. We share a table with other couples, sort of pot luck, and have a fun time. There are door prizes, and a silent auction. Tonight I won a door prize (Jim Beam sauces and a brush for grilling) but the more wonderful thing was the silent auction. There were more items than I remember, and the one that caught my eye was a rock tumbler. I have a chunk of raw turquoise from Colorado Springs, and I kept my eye on the bids. At the close of bidding the top was $20, so I snuck $21 in at the wire.
When I picked up the tumbler, there was a painting with it. Many of the items were paired with paintings from the Sister Ruth Ann students, who are learning disabled. When I came back to our table, one of the ladies there commented on the painting. Turns out she was bidding on the painting I won, not knowing there was a rock tumbler involved. I hadn't realized there was a painting paired with my tumbler. Worked out wonderfully - I gave her the painting, and felt great about that little coincidence. Then again, when you are at a Catholic high school, is it really a coincidence?
Trivia night is always fun, and for me doubly so because I don't know all the answers. We share a table with other couples, sort of pot luck, and have a fun time. There are door prizes, and a silent auction. Tonight I won a door prize (Jim Beam sauces and a brush for grilling) but the more wonderful thing was the silent auction. There were more items than I remember, and the one that caught my eye was a rock tumbler. I have a chunk of raw turquoise from Colorado Springs, and I kept my eye on the bids. At the close of bidding the top was $20, so I snuck $21 in at the wire.
When I picked up the tumbler, there was a painting with it. Many of the items were paired with paintings from the Sister Ruth Ann students, who are learning disabled. When I came back to our table, one of the ladies there commented on the painting. Turns out she was bidding on the painting I won, not knowing there was a rock tumbler involved. I hadn't realized there was a painting paired with my tumbler. Worked out wonderfully - I gave her the painting, and felt great about that little coincidence. Then again, when you are at a Catholic high school, is it really a coincidence?
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