I can remember a time, long long ago, when Gummy Bears (actually called Gummi Bears, since they were imported from Germany) were the only gummy candy and you could only find them in well-stocked candy counters. They were hard at first, and would soften eventually in your mouth, from both moisture and heat. Bear with me, there is a connection.
I could barely talk today - throat was pretty bad. Sometimes I was so hoarse I could only croak, other times the frog in my throat would interrupt my breathing and force me to cough. Said cough was wracking, and produced the aforementioned gummy bears. Size and consistency. Such fun. Trying to burn this out of my system through exercise. Might even work.
The upper leg pain continues. Not sure if my lower back is being compressed by muscle development or poor belt/pant interface. Painful all day, standing or sitting - nothing much changed it, so I just lived with it. Took a couple of the pills I used to take for my neck pain (which isn't currently holding a candle to the legs). They make me pretty sleepy after a while, and hopefully will allow me to get a night's sleep.
Today's pet peeve: pronunciation. I have always hated the urban use of the word "axe" to represent the spelling "ask." Now my students have an equally annoying problem they are unable to correct - pronouncing the long "U" sound as 'er'. It makes them sound like idiots, and worse, it makes them harder to understand, since they rarely make an effort to speak properly. I get to hear things like "comperter" and "skerl" instead of computer and school. This laziness means that many different vowel sounds are replaced by the easy to learn, easy to master "er". Where is it? It is over ther. She has a bow in her her. Hey, he got more than me, that's not fur. I am not skered of him.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Chronic Pain
No clue what I did, but I think it involves my lower back, and probably our big cat Max who tried to kill me. He was chasing a fly and ran between my feet when I was walking. My back (right) foot caught his side and it staggered me. I have a mass advantage on him, so I didn't go down, but it twisted me good. So last night I had sciatica pain in my right leg, on top of the cold that was occupying my throat.
Today I was pretty tired. Still, biked in. Was uncomfortable to stand, sitting didn't do much to ease that. Not really painful to bike, and it is definitely not muscular. Tonight it continues, both thighs (which is new, since now my nerve pain is on both sides), so I plan to take a little something to cut that edge. Throat feels sandpapered, with some irresistible coughing thrown in. Which of course affects the nerve pain in the neck and shoulder.
Funny, the things we remember and forget. (Switching gears here, so bear with me) Got a Facebook message from a good friend's sister, asking if I was the person who used to play pool in her cellar (basement) and drink their liquor. For the life of me, I can't remember a basement. Or playing pool there, for that matter. I am sure I did, it is just blank. I remember a few Christmas parties there. I remember playing with her son and his He-Man and Masters of the Universe set. But a basement? Totally blank.
Growing up we didn't have a usable, finished basement. It was a creepy place, with a low beamed ceiling. One side where you could walk was floored with gravel, over dirt. The other side didn't extend to the floor - just dirt contained by rock retaining wall about chest high. You never knew what sort of nature lived there, or was just visiting. And since the house itself didn't have a very big footprint, the basement was tiny. I kind of envied friends whose houses had basements that were actually rooms, and that didn't scare you.
Today I was pretty tired. Still, biked in. Was uncomfortable to stand, sitting didn't do much to ease that. Not really painful to bike, and it is definitely not muscular. Tonight it continues, both thighs (which is new, since now my nerve pain is on both sides), so I plan to take a little something to cut that edge. Throat feels sandpapered, with some irresistible coughing thrown in. Which of course affects the nerve pain in the neck and shoulder.
Funny, the things we remember and forget. (Switching gears here, so bear with me) Got a Facebook message from a good friend's sister, asking if I was the person who used to play pool in her cellar (basement) and drink their liquor. For the life of me, I can't remember a basement. Or playing pool there, for that matter. I am sure I did, it is just blank. I remember a few Christmas parties there. I remember playing with her son and his He-Man and Masters of the Universe set. But a basement? Totally blank.
Growing up we didn't have a usable, finished basement. It was a creepy place, with a low beamed ceiling. One side where you could walk was floored with gravel, over dirt. The other side didn't extend to the floor - just dirt contained by rock retaining wall about chest high. You never knew what sort of nature lived there, or was just visiting. And since the house itself didn't have a very big footprint, the basement was tiny. I kind of envied friends whose houses had basements that were actually rooms, and that didn't scare you.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Good and Bad News
New superintendent of schools sent everybody an informational email yesterday or today (I don't pay attention to date stamps). Good news is they have balanced the budget, sort of. It takes some $40million of cuts and another $30million from reserves. This means that once the state approves it, the negotiated 2% raise will be instated, plus the annual "step" increase, which is like $1,000 each year you stay in. Again, IF/WHEN the budget gets the stamp, it will be paid out, retroactive to July (which means windfall, with 3 months of increases coming at once).
Then the bad news. As part of the cuts, 208 (or so) unfilled jobs will be cut, and 126 existing jobs will be eliminated. There was an "emergency" meeting this afternoon that I missed due to picking up oldest and her friend from school. Rumor was (from my union rep who is also a teacher on my team) that the 126 people surplussed, if they choose to stay in the system, will be able to 'bump' anybody of lesser seniority out of their teaching position. This brings up all sorts of questions of school/team dynamics, seniority over quality, etc. Some of those teachers have been sitting on their asses, essentially invulnerable, just doing time to get their retirement. I imagine the teams they join will ostracize (wow, spelled that right on the first try) them for breaking up their teams, etc. I also assume that this will be limited to a single wave...in other words, if I got bumped out of my position, I wouldn't be able to bump somebody in return. That would essentially kill off a generation or two of new teachers, and cripple the system in a new and different way.
I have five years. Probably more than enough. I teach Math, a subject that gets the scrutiny along with Reading/Language Arts. I am highly qualified. "Remora" teachers, clinging to the system won't want to work hard and get results. But I am at a middle school that is probably the most desirable, both in terms of physical plant (building is only 8 years old) and environment, so it might attract some attention.
I've been saying I can cope with change. However this affects me or my school, I think I am going to get to prove my boast.
Then the bad news. As part of the cuts, 208 (or so) unfilled jobs will be cut, and 126 existing jobs will be eliminated. There was an "emergency" meeting this afternoon that I missed due to picking up oldest and her friend from school. Rumor was (from my union rep who is also a teacher on my team) that the 126 people surplussed, if they choose to stay in the system, will be able to 'bump' anybody of lesser seniority out of their teaching position. This brings up all sorts of questions of school/team dynamics, seniority over quality, etc. Some of those teachers have been sitting on their asses, essentially invulnerable, just doing time to get their retirement. I imagine the teams they join will ostracize (wow, spelled that right on the first try) them for breaking up their teams, etc. I also assume that this will be limited to a single wave...in other words, if I got bumped out of my position, I wouldn't be able to bump somebody in return. That would essentially kill off a generation or two of new teachers, and cripple the system in a new and different way.
I have five years. Probably more than enough. I teach Math, a subject that gets the scrutiny along with Reading/Language Arts. I am highly qualified. "Remora" teachers, clinging to the system won't want to work hard and get results. But I am at a middle school that is probably the most desirable, both in terms of physical plant (building is only 8 years old) and environment, so it might attract some attention.
I've been saying I can cope with change. However this affects me or my school, I think I am going to get to prove my boast.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Cranky
This week has gone on long enough, dammit. If weather cooperated, I would be biking tomorrow, but oldest wants to invite a friend home with her, and needs me to get them from school. Since she socializes so little, we want to encourage it, but I get to sacrifice my exercise. On the other hand, I have a nasty scratchy acidic feeling on the back of my throat which should develop into a cold soon, so maybe rest is a good choice.
Feeling kind of alone.
Feeling kind of alone.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Things I forgot
For example, Monday I took the oldest to the successor to the Mid-South Fair, the Delta Fair. Or as some call it "the white-people's fair" since the old fair is held in a pretty ugly part of town, attracts lower socio-economic demographics, and is kind of cheap and sleazy. Not that this wasn't, it was just not in the middle of a city. Same kind of food, same rides, etc. Got a dandy sunburn from four hours of cloudy but windy.
NetFlix is in the house. Got the first disk of Supernatural tonight, and enjoying the hell out of it. Also watched five episodes of Dexter online. Not sure how this will keep going, as shared experiences around here have a relatively short shelf life. I anticipate watching things myself and reporting back to the wife, or waiting an exorbitantly long time to watch them together, and having it never happen. Yes, cynical.
The saga of the school pep rally continued today. Not satisfied with canceling it at the last minute, and requiring teachers to refund the money, the school cut all the homeroom teachers a personal check and told us to cash it, get singles, and refund the money to the students by today. Since I didn't get to a bank until after they closed yesterday, and I get 20 minutes for lunch, I scraped up some singles and refunded most, then cashed the check this afternoon. Too much of a burden on us, especially for somebody else's screwup.
Mood: melancholy. Feeling kind of alone, surrounded by people. Socializing more at school, thinking about having some teachers over for grilling and gaming (Guitar Hero and Rock Band). Wife is going out of town early/mid-October - back to NYC for a "girls' weekend" whatever the hell that means. Not sure why this bothers me, but for somebody who didn't like my travel schedule when it was required for business, she is taking a whole bunch of personal trips, and not talking much about them.
I think too much.
NetFlix is in the house. Got the first disk of Supernatural tonight, and enjoying the hell out of it. Also watched five episodes of Dexter online. Not sure how this will keep going, as shared experiences around here have a relatively short shelf life. I anticipate watching things myself and reporting back to the wife, or waiting an exorbitantly long time to watch them together, and having it never happen. Yes, cynical.
The saga of the school pep rally continued today. Not satisfied with canceling it at the last minute, and requiring teachers to refund the money, the school cut all the homeroom teachers a personal check and told us to cash it, get singles, and refund the money to the students by today. Since I didn't get to a bank until after they closed yesterday, and I get 20 minutes for lunch, I scraped up some singles and refunded most, then cashed the check this afternoon. Too much of a burden on us, especially for somebody else's screwup.
Mood: melancholy. Feeling kind of alone, surrounded by people. Socializing more at school, thinking about having some teachers over for grilling and gaming (Guitar Hero and Rock Band). Wife is going out of town early/mid-October - back to NYC for a "girls' weekend" whatever the hell that means. Not sure why this bothers me, but for somebody who didn't like my travel schedule when it was required for business, she is taking a whole bunch of personal trips, and not talking much about them.
I think too much.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Hardship
Today, with Gustav sending tendrils north, was not so fun. Train in my way, stopped dead. Waited a few minutes, then peeked down the tracks. Intersection a mile down was clear, so had to ride an extra bit, then go fast to make up the lost time. Not so easy with 30 mph headwinds on a bicycle that can only go 25 mph if I am going down a decent hill. Then I got to school and my peach (breakfast) had gone too far. Smelled good, but was pretty mealy and not sweet or flavorful. Choked down half imagining I was starving and needed the nutrition.
Left earlier than normal, too, to get home before any weather. Biking is getting much easier. No admirers today, though.
Left earlier than normal, too, to get home before any weather. Biking is getting much easier. No admirers today, though.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Lemon Tree
Not a parable, a morality play or any of those disguised stories with a message, but a little thoughtful story about my Lemon Tree.
Years ago, I got a little tiny lemon tree on clearance at one of those home improvement stores. It caught my eye. Lemon Tree was in a little one gallon plastic pot, with a couple or three tiny white flowers. There was potential. It was a comfortable time, with friends around, and Lemon Tree found a home in a newly cleared garden by the "patio." For lack of a better word. Because "ugly slab of decaying concrete" sounds less impressive.
As summer slid to fall, Lemon Tree produced a small lemon, very tiny but lemony. Perhaps the size of a fingernail. But perfect and cute. Fall slid further to winter, and Lemon Tree succumbed to a few days of hard frost. If I remember, we had 4 days around Christmas that never went above 20, and there was ice. Lemon Tree became a stick. And I wrote off Lemon Tree as a failure.
Spring did not change anything. The rest of the garden exploded with weeds and some bulbs that kept memories of absent friends alive. Lemon Tree remained a stick. Summer, though, brought a surprise. Leaves sprouted from Lemon Tree, and over the warm months it looked as though Lemon Tree would regain its former glory. Glossy, deep green leaves, long wicked looking spikes.
Winter, though, had other plans. Since Lemon Tree had survived once, I let it continue on borrowed time. Again, the frost reduced it to a stick, actually two sticks now. And when spring and summer came, again I had no hopes of seeing another rebirth. Lemon Tree was not destined to survive a week of harshness. Memories of orange farmers in Florida placing smudge pots among their groves to protect the trees from frost (well, actually the fruit) made me doubt.
Finally, late in June, Lemon Tree again burst forth with leaves and growth. This time I did not let it down, but gathered a shovel, a large pot and some tropical soil. And Lemon Tree became a commuter. It lived on the deck until late October, then moved several feet, in view of the deck from inside the french doors. And Lemon Tree continued to grow, slowly, basking in the weak winter sunlight, and protected from the harsher elements.
Spring commuted Lemon Tree back to the deck. This afternoon while smoking a brisket (which has nothing to do with inhaling), I admired it. From the former "sticks" two new shoots have emerged. The existing growth has flung forth branches with handfuls of leaves. Even in this relatively small pot (3 or 5 gallons), it is more than waist high. No blossoms or fruit since that initial surprise. And no single trunk to speak of, but a spreading, chaotic mess of leaves, thorns, branches and stems. And when winter threatens, back inside to bask. Eventually to a bigger pot, perhaps with casters, since it will be getting heavier. And it will always remind of of who, and when, and not to give up, even if things seem to have fallen through hardship.
Years ago, I got a little tiny lemon tree on clearance at one of those home improvement stores. It caught my eye. Lemon Tree was in a little one gallon plastic pot, with a couple or three tiny white flowers. There was potential. It was a comfortable time, with friends around, and Lemon Tree found a home in a newly cleared garden by the "patio." For lack of a better word. Because "ugly slab of decaying concrete" sounds less impressive.
As summer slid to fall, Lemon Tree produced a small lemon, very tiny but lemony. Perhaps the size of a fingernail. But perfect and cute. Fall slid further to winter, and Lemon Tree succumbed to a few days of hard frost. If I remember, we had 4 days around Christmas that never went above 20, and there was ice. Lemon Tree became a stick. And I wrote off Lemon Tree as a failure.
Spring did not change anything. The rest of the garden exploded with weeds and some bulbs that kept memories of absent friends alive. Lemon Tree remained a stick. Summer, though, brought a surprise. Leaves sprouted from Lemon Tree, and over the warm months it looked as though Lemon Tree would regain its former glory. Glossy, deep green leaves, long wicked looking spikes.
Winter, though, had other plans. Since Lemon Tree had survived once, I let it continue on borrowed time. Again, the frost reduced it to a stick, actually two sticks now. And when spring and summer came, again I had no hopes of seeing another rebirth. Lemon Tree was not destined to survive a week of harshness. Memories of orange farmers in Florida placing smudge pots among their groves to protect the trees from frost (well, actually the fruit) made me doubt.
Finally, late in June, Lemon Tree again burst forth with leaves and growth. This time I did not let it down, but gathered a shovel, a large pot and some tropical soil. And Lemon Tree became a commuter. It lived on the deck until late October, then moved several feet, in view of the deck from inside the french doors. And Lemon Tree continued to grow, slowly, basking in the weak winter sunlight, and protected from the harsher elements.
Spring commuted Lemon Tree back to the deck. This afternoon while smoking a brisket (which has nothing to do with inhaling), I admired it. From the former "sticks" two new shoots have emerged. The existing growth has flung forth branches with handfuls of leaves. Even in this relatively small pot (3 or 5 gallons), it is more than waist high. No blossoms or fruit since that initial surprise. And no single trunk to speak of, but a spreading, chaotic mess of leaves, thorns, branches and stems. And when winter threatens, back inside to bask. Eventually to a bigger pot, perhaps with casters, since it will be getting heavier. And it will always remind of of who, and when, and not to give up, even if things seem to have fallen through hardship.
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